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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in square peg in a round world's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, June 1st, 2006
12:21 pm
motorcycle accident update (short and sweet)
my brother is officially HOME! woo! he still has a very long road to being recovered but at least he's out of the hospital. he'll be wearing a back and neck brace for at least 6 weeks. thank you all again for prayers and just being out there for me. take care all.
Thursday, May 4th, 2006
3:05 pm
motorcycle accident 4... (good news)
phew.... so... my brother is slowly getting better. i got a nice update today. he's been eating.. well... a baby food type substance.. but still.. it's a start. most of his surgeries are completed. just a few minor hand/arm surgeries to go. and... the best news of all... he's getting the hell out of ICU. as of tomorrow.. he will have his own room. finally... out of serious danger. it's going to be a long road of rehab... but he's on his way. thank you all again for positive energies, prayers, and just keeping in touch to make sure i haven't completely snapped. take care all. be well.
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
12:07 pm
motorcycle accident 3..(good news)
my brother woke up this weekend. his eyes were clear. he knew what was going on. my sister in law was asking him questions. "Do you know where you are? Do you know what happened?"

"Yes"

He was struggling to talk. He did have a tube through his mouth and down his throat for over a week. Plus he still has that trach tube going through the base of his throat.

he motioned to my sister in law to come closer... closer..... a little closer...

he eeked out a very scratchy...."I love you".. again he motioned... "do you love me too?" "Of course I do"

the knucklehead was gettin back to being himself... when my sister in laws head was turned he was sticking his tongue out at her oldest daugter.... when questioned about it, he denied doing it. he did it a few more times... my sister in law turned around before he got his tongue back in his mouth the last time. Snagged! Now thats the brother I know.

My sister in law told my brother that my mom and I came down to visit. He doesn't remember us being there. he was rather drugged up when we were there. bummer. hopefully we'll get back down there in about a month. that's the plan. just gotta try to scrounge up a couple hundred more bucks to pull that one off. sooo... again.. thank you all for being out there.. i'll keep ya posted.. and kindly keep sending those good vibes/prayers along.. they're doing a great job. thank you.
Friday, April 21st, 2006
10:53 am
motorcycle accident update 2..
apparently this week my brother was fiesty again and tried to pull the pipe out of his mouth/throat again. due to that action, his throat swelled up. they had to do an emergency tracheotomy. so, he now has a nice slice in his throat and a tube going in that way. it also appears he's contracted influenza. as if he isn't having enough problems breathing and getting along. they were supposed to operate on the arm breaks this week. well.. that's the story so far. again, thank you all for your positive energy. take care.
Sunday, April 16th, 2006
9:50 pm
motorcycle accident update
i'm home from jacksonville florida. the trip was definitely needed. we arrived on friday, early evening and went right to the hospital. we just caught the tail end of visiting hours. every 2 or 3 hours they have visiting hours. its only for an hour at a time and only two people can enter the ICU to see him at a time. mom went in first with my sister in law. then i got to see him for a few minutes. he was sleeping. three hours later was the second and last visiting hour. my brother was asleep again due to massive amounts of medicine in his system. he was moving his feet a bit for my sister in law but i didn't see it. it was really hard to see him lying there in the neck and back brace. all wrapped up on his head and arms. not moving.

saturday was pretty much the same. they said if he didn't wake up and start responding they were going to take him for a CAT scan in the morning to see if he had any brain damage. on the second to last visiting hour he was awake, aware and responsive. he was nodding yes and no to questions. tears of joy. that's all i have to say. he opened his eyes and saw me. it was so hard to see him like that but it was so good to see him fighting. i'm proud of him. in the last 15 minutes of visiting time, when i was not in there, he started choking and tried to pull the tube out of his throat. my sister in law and mom were asked to leave the room as people ran in to deal with the air tube that was down his throat. it was taken care of. but for last visiting hour he was all doped up again.

this morning was our last chance to see him. we did. apparently he woke up in the middle of the night and got fiesty again about the thing being down his throat and was tryin to remove it. they doped him up again. so.. he was asleep the last time we saw him. the flight home was uneventful. i'm just glad i got to see him and i know he's fighting. i'm definitely in a better state of mind knowing how much of a fighter he is and seeing how hard he truely is fighting. i'm going to look into going down again in 3-4 weeks. thank you all for your kind words, prayers and being here for me. it's needed more than you know.
Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
12:38 am
motorcycle accident...
monday evening my brother was in a severe motor cycle accident. there was a collision with a pick up truck. my brother landed in the back of the truck. he's currently in intensive care. he's suffering from many injuries including broken pelvis, damaged vertebrae, shattered elbow and collapsed lung. he's currently in stable condition and is responding by moving his foot since he has tubes down his throat to help with the breathing process. this is a very positive sign due to the fact the doctors thought he'd be paralyzed from the waist down. i'll be flying to jacksonville florida this friday to see him. it's going to be a rough week.
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
8:34 am
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last week I didn't flush (-1 points). In January I put gum in outtatime's hair (-12 points). In June I donated bone marrow to greedyf007 in a life-saving procedure (300 points). Last month I helped piratescoundrel across the street (6 points). Last Friday I gave cubby42 a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points).

Overall, I've been nice (343 points). For Christmas I deserve a shiny red ball!

Sincerely,
autumnsfall

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
10:11 am
crud...
i think mom and i are goin upstate this saturday to visit my aunt (her older sister). it sucks that we always take it for granted that people will always be around and then at the last minute we start to scramble to spend time with them. this is one of those instances. we've been saying we want to go and visit for awhile and now we're making time to do so. they found an aortic aneurysm in my aunt. she's not in the hospital or anything at least. but we all know how tricky these things are. they can burst at any moment and cause problems. things are already in the works to get a clear picture of the situation on december 3rd in a hospital in philly so that they can take necessary surgery steps. so.. yeah.. thats what we're doin this saturday/sunday.
Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
9:09 am
damnit..
stupid pms.... i need a box of tissues...
Monday, September 19th, 2005
5:54 pm
man... i feel sooooo much better now
short and sweet... i had my first client tonight... and survived.. i feel sooooooo much better. i'll feel comfortable handing out my business cards now. yay. alrighty.. i'm gonna go relax. physiology class tomorrow.... weeee... or something. gotta love book work. ah well... i'm off.
Sunday, September 4th, 2005
12:41 am
Old poems of mine..
POEMS 1996 - 2002

POEM 1

I believe what I have seen,
But then it fades away.
Was I only dreaming?
I wish t would have stayed.

I look back one more time,
To catch a glimpse of it.
Was what I’ve seen a lie?
Could I believe in it?

I think about the past,
And what I could have done.
If only I had known,
If what that was would come.

My breath is cold as ice.
My heart is beading fast.
But as I close my eyes,
The anxiety comes to pass.

I go on with my life,
After what I’ve seen.
But I will not forget,
That it was not a dream.

POEM 2

In a darkened room,
I lay upon my bed,
Many racing thoughts,
Running through my head.

I wonder if the light,
That shines upon my room,
Will escape my eyes,
If it will be soon.

Each thought I think races,
And I wonder if I’ll be,
Allowed to close my eyes,
Allowed to go to sleep.

One my one they go away,
As I close my eyes,
Each vision I’ve seen through the day,
Slows down and then it dies.

Unconscious thoughts surround my mind,
That is no mistake,
And each day brings a new challenge,
Each time I choose to wake.

POEM 3

Why can’t I focus?
Why can’t I see?
Just one of these thoughts,
Inside of me.

I can see it all,
But can see nothing too.
There’s all too much.
I’m so confused.

The lights is on,
But no one’s home.
They’ve kicked me out.
I’m so alone.

These thoughts that race.
These thoughts that grate.
They tear at me.
They turn to hate.

One more day,
Confused as hell.
While onlookers think,
That all is well.

Please help me look,
Please help me see.
That there is nothing.
Wrong with me.

POEM 4

Once again
I let it down
My guard was up
I’m on the ground.

Once again
The blow hit hard
It sank right in
Tore me apart.

Once again
I sit alone
My shell put up
It feels like home.

Once again
I’m in a fight
And it will bring
A sleepless night.

Once again
As time stood still
I felt it break
Apart my will.

Once again
I will not stop.
Once again
I’ll reach the top.

POEM 5

How did this happen?
Where did she go?
The woman I’ve known forever,
But never really got to know.

A woman so lovely,
A woman so fair,
She was stubborn enough to fight,
And strong enough to care.

A woman of patience,
A woman of grace,
For her there will be a space in my heart,
That no one could ever replace.

I regret the time we spent,
Could not have been more,
But the memories she’s given me,
I always will adore.

The angels are now smiling,
From the heavens above,
For their sister has come home,
To help them spread their love.

POEM 6

What is this,
That I have done?
I point at you,
With loaded gun.

You offer shelter,
You offer fruit,
Quick run away,
Before I shoot.

You comfort me,
When I’m in need,
But here I relish,
Within my greed.


Your heart is open,
It let me in,
I shoot at you,
This is my sin.

The trust you’ve given,
Was tore apart,
And there you lie,
With bleeding heart.

The gun has fired,
What more to say,
I turn my back,
And walk away.

One bullet left,
Within the gun,
I say goodnight,
The beast has won.

My friends you deserve better,
This much is true,
I never meant,
To hurt you.

POEM 7

Driving along,
The highway with mom,
Music turned up,
Singing a song.

When al of a sudden,
In the blackness of night,
A car closes behind me,
With blinding light.

My eyes try to focus,
My hands turn the wheel,
The brakes are not working,
The tires, they squeal.

My mom tries to help me,
By grabbing the wheel,
The car now goes backwards,
This I can feel.

I feel the car stop,
I look through the window,
Some fifty feet down,
I see the cars below.

Hot tears fill my eyes,
They run down my face.
What have I done here?
I’m such a disgrace.

Mom I am sorry,
That I’ve let you down.
Just two inches further,
We’d’ve fallen to the ground.

We exit the car.
The cops now arrive.
I tell them what happened.
I’m not fit to drive.

A piece of me died there,
At that very site.
Thos this very day,
I still hate car lights.

POEM 8

I went to bed
With a tear in my eye
Feeling unloved
Wanting to die.

Curled in a ball
Pushing away
Thoughts of you
I’ve had through the day.

Am I so wrong
To long for your touch
Please let me know
If this is too much.

Here as I lay
Lost and alone
Just the sound of your laughter
Could help bring me home.

You deserve better
Than someone like me
And as the saying goes
I now set you free.

POEM 9 Jan. 12th 2000

Falling endlessly into the abyss of thoughts…
Which drown me…
Into oblivion…
Tear at my walls… my mind… my heart…
Soul…
For once I feel whole…
But yet…
Shredded..
Into your arms…
Peace can be gained…
But at what cost…
To you…
Wandering through this vast plain of existence…
I shed tear after tear…
Wanting so much…
To have… hold…
But to what extent…
What cost…
Am I again taking a toll…
On you…
Tripping mindlessly…
Over and over again…
Playing with fire that only I can see…
It singes my eyes… heart…
Pierces through me…
But at what cost…
To you

POEM 10 July 27th 2000

Picking up the phone…
That will never ring…
Again…
Lost in dreams…
Which feel…
To be reality…
Once I knew how to love…
Breathe… sing…
But now I catch myself holding my breath…
Out of tune…
But still dreaming…
Of you…
And in a glimpse of what I thought I knew…
Was merely and illusion of something that my never have been…
It funny how…
When you hold something too tight…
It goes away…
Leaving behind only remnants…
Of what used to be…
Or maybe never really was…
But yet here I still hold…
To what is…
Was…
Could be…
Someday

POEM 11 Ignorance is bliss December 29th 2002

Ignorance is bliss…
So why do I keep thinking…
About times passed…
As if I could change what has happened…
Today I laughed…
And I caught myself wondering why…
What caused it…
And as I put my finger on it…
It was gone that quickly…
And still I sit thinking…
And wondering where it all went…
And how I got to where I am…
Ignorance is bliss…
Perhaps I shall hold onto this.
Friday, July 8th, 2005
9:24 am
sooo...
today i placed an ad for secretary at my job. and.. well.... i'm the secretary. i was given notice to place it two days ago. i've kinda been delaying. i've had to sort through a lot in my brain to go through with it. basically.. i KNEW this was coming. At the end of last year I told them I was going to school to become a massage therapist. I told them I wouldn't be leaving till at least the following December. In June one of my bosses asked me again "When will your courses be finishing up?" I said "December" She replied "Okay.. I think it would be a good idea to hire someone 4-5 months before you leave so they will be well trained for when you do go. Remind me next month to place an ad." Well.. it's next month.. and I didn't remind her.. she remembered though. What a great feeling of panic I had when I saw that in my inbox. I immediately started thinking... I have no place to go and I'm still not terribly confident in my skills even though all of my classmates think I have "the touch" and all of my instructors believe I do good work. So... after two days of letting things sort out in my brain.. I'm alright. Two days ago I was a wreck though. But basically.. here's the deal. We hire someone... they pick up the job in a month... they've got no reason to keep me on when that person knows what needs to be done and i've got nothing to do. Would you continue paying someone that's not doing any work? Plus at a reasonable rate. The new person will be hired at a lower rate than what I'm getting.. so.. yeah. You see my fear? By any means... I'm trying to take an active approach to the situation. I've been checking out some jobs to see what's required and where they're located and the such. Most jobs are looking for people with 500+ hours. When I complete this course I will have my 500 hours in.. BUT.. not until the end of December... sucky. I'm going to check out the postings at our school for a lead. I'll also be tweaking my resume to help secure a position. Also tryin to be more proactive with practicing. I grabbed to family members yesterday and gave myself a refresher on Swedish. It went pretty well. I felt better after that. So.. that's where I'm at. I'll try to check in every so often on the above. We'll see how it goes.
Friday, June 24th, 2005
8:10 am
spiritual or career growth
which would you choose? i opted for spiritual. i still have what if's. i think i would have what if's had i taken the other option as well. it was one of those crossroads things. sucks i tell ya. ah well. i believe i made the right choice.
Friday, May 6th, 2005
8:52 am
overwhelmed
my month at a snapshot

anatomy class/test - 5/7/05
pathology class/test - 5/10/05
shiatsu weekend/test - 5/14/05 - 5/15/05
last connective tissue class/written test - 5/17/05
connective tissue hands on final - 5/25/05
anatomy final - 5/28/05
and last but not least
business plan due in by 06/02/05

burning the candle at both ends......
Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
8:10 am
sometimes i hate cars...
i know its been awhile but and i'm sure i'll eventually update for real but for right now i just need to get this out. i was on my way to work as usual. the one of the last turns i need to make is at a light.. and its a left at that... the visibility isn't so great to see if there are cars coming if there are people tryin to make a turn in the left lane... so i watched and i waited.... i inched up even to see the situation better.... so... i felt confident.. there was not a damn thing coming my way... as soon as i hit the pedal and was covering that lane with my entire car.. another car comes out of nowhere... i know damn well when i looked in that direction no one was coming.... i believe that this car got sick of waiting in the left turning lane which wasn't moving very successfully and just hit the gas..... near miss.... the passenger side of my car almost had a pretty severe permanent dent in it... thank god this person understood how his brakes worked.... i was a wreck.. i truly thought "oh crap.. this is it"... but it wasn't... phew.... i know someone is watchin out for me. alrighty.. that's about it.... that shook me up a good deal so i needed to get it out. alrighty.. back to work with me.
Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
11:02 am
okay.. seriously here.....
i believe my subconscious hates me. my hormones are beyond outta control and my subconscious is NOT cooperating. i was having what could be considered a DAMN good dream.... but...... BUT.. my subconscious wouldn't allow it..... as soon as things were startin to get good... BAM.. woke me right the hell up... rarrr..... so.... must continue to keep taking cold showers until my sobconscious cooperates. in other news.. i actually got to bed at 11:05... so i'm startin to get back on track.... granted that damn dream woke me at like 4:30 AM and i had a hard time fallin back to sleep..but still....... as far as work goes i'm doin relatively well with catchin up.. still have piles of paperwork and people coming at me from every direction.. but thats nothin new..... and.. woo.. i think i aced my pathology test. alrighty... i best get back to work and attempt to update more at a later time. apple break is over. till then....
Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
12:00 pm
time to get back on track....
granted.. i'm smiling a while crapload these days... but i gotta get my ass back on track.... i'm half brain dead and losing my sense of responsibility... its time to fix that. lesse... i'm missin more sleep than usual... gotta get back in to the hittin the sack routine between 10:30 and 10:45 routine when i have work the next day. so.. i'll start back on that tonight... 11 PM at the latest. i'm slippin up at work. when i got to work this morning there was a note on my desk. "Rose, Please lock the front door when you leave." Ugh.. that was reality check part one. Part two came a lil later today. "Hey Rose, did those two shipments go out yesterday?" Take a wild guess. Clearly I didn't respond that way. But yeah... two different companies should've have product on their way by now.. and possibly even dellivered by now. Ugh.. I scrambled quick and called the appropriate trucking companies. They will be picked up today. *sigh* By any means... I'm going to take a lil more care to keep things straight at work. I did fess up of course. I at least have that going for me. Honesty. It's good and bad sometimes. I guess its better than tryin to hide the fact or lie and blame the trucks for not coming in. So.. today.. I shall try and be a bit more conscious of what i'm doing at work and tonight i will try and hit the sack at a reasonable hour. On the weekend... I'll reward myself by being brain dead, hittin the sack late and sleeping in. Until then... time to hop aboard the responsibility train. Til next time.......
8:23 am
disturbing dream
i'm gonna keep this one short.... just hadda get it outta my head... and hopefully release it..

basically... this dream had great potential.. i was smiling for most of it... just a regular day hangin out with a mystery woman.... and then... she leaned in and kissed me.... of course i'm not going to pass up this opportunity.... i kissed her back... and then it hit me... the taste... i know it well.... the taste of stomach acid... as if that wasn't disturbing enough... instead of the usual gum swapping that occasially happens on such transactions.... well.. it wasn't gum... there was a chunk of half digested food passed over.

needless to say i woke up. *sigh* why must good dreams take a turn like that?
Monday, February 14th, 2005
1:25 pm
side swiped....
holy crap man.. every time i start doin somethin here someone else walks up to me and needs somethin completely different... and ya know.. everyone needs their stuff first..... oi.. i'm tryin man... needless to say i'm a bit busy today... i thought i'd try to sneak in a quick update. so... lesse.. quick update.. this past week and weekend was pretty freakin crazy. lots of studying to do. i had a test on the bones of the body on saturday and a test on the muscles of the body on sunday. thank god for word banks.. that's all i've got to say. on the plus side.. we got our tests back and i aced them both.. woo! so.. saturday was interesting. the instructor went over a full body massage and about how long ya should spend on which areas of the body to get it done in one hours time. we also learned the chest and abdomen area. turns out these area are really only worked on if someone is having a problem in either of those areas. they are considered sacred sites... in other words.. alot of peeps aren't thrilled about being massaged there... also in the sacred sites are the gluts, face and feet.. interesting stuff. by any means.. we all went to lunch... after lunch we got ambushed. "everyone parter up.. we'll be doing a full body massage... and i will be giving no assistance." ack... talk about momma bird kickin us outta the nest to see if we could fly. we all felt we did lousy. we all knew that we had to do that sunday.. but saturday.. it was thrust upon us. ya know what.. at the time i was nervous and kinda half sick to my stomach and maybe even a lil bit angry.. but i realized after the fact at how good of a learning tool that was. we got to really see what we knew and where we needed to focus on. i got a lot out of it. i worked on mom that night after looking over my notes and not using them throughout the massage and it turns out i remembered alot of what needed to be done. my problem at this point is my time management. on saturday it probably would've taken me and hour and 20 minutes.... saturday evening i only ran over 5 minutes.... sunday... i ran over about 5 minutes. so i'm doin alright.. just gotta work on that a bit. on sunday i was actually a lil nervous because of the person i partered up with. she's had back surgery and can't lay on her stomach for the part of the massage. since none of us are really familiar with draping in that manner and the such the instructor helped me out with that. on the plus side i remembered a good deal of what needed to be done. and dude.. for being as nervous as i was working with this lady.. it turned out great. she was very impressed with the skill that i showed. she said "you've got great hands. you're definitely going in the right line of work and need to stick with it." it was the best compliment i could've gotten. i think i was half high off of that for the next couple of hours. there's soooo many more details.. but i'm givin the readers digest condensed version. a few more lil bits i can remember..... on saturday i attempted to throw myself on a grenade. on of the girls in class is very put off by one of the dudes in class and was rather concerned about working on him. so i spoke up.. i was like "hey dude.... she actually has like two other people she hasn't worked on yet." we're not supposed to work on peeps we've worked on already cuz we're learning different body textures and the such. so.. anyways.. i thought i was gonna get stuck with him...somehow magically she got stuck with him for the exercise we did on the abdomen. on the plus side the instructor didn't leave her side and the instructor draped her. after lunch when we got ambushed i made sure i pushed forward and worked with her so she didn't have to work with the guy again. that was the second time she said thank you to me that day. sadly the first thank you didn't work out too well. oh well.. i tried man. damn protective nature. lesse.. quick highlights....... i got to give a cute chick(aka.. Dawn) a massage in my home on friday evening.. woo! needless to say i was a nervous wreck. what a mess. only did the back side of the body cuz i really didn't have a clue of time management at that point plus i had to read the notes.. thats rather time consuming. sooo.... but yeah... good stuff... i really wish i wasn't such a dork and wouldn't have got so nervous though. oh well... its new .. its exciting... i'll eventually get a grip.. haha.. lets hope. and since i was such a slacker friday evening when i dropped off my test subject (haha)i ended up hangin at her abode for a bit. "sure i'll stop in for a few". 2 hours later.. haha. Lilo and Stitch is such a cool movie though... plus the company was quite nice to cuddle up with. Annnnnnd.. last but not least... Sunday highlight.. again.. class kicked ass.. had lunch with the youngins of the class and talked about all sorta silly things. went home... and again had a guest for the evening. i swear this girl is gonna get sick of me. i really need to chill. i have a tendency to be a lil clingy at times. i know i can get put off when someone is too clingy.... unless i really dig them... then.. forget it.... i'm a mess. so.... havin said that... i'd have no issues with said person being clingy. but i'm also tryin to put anyone off in the meantime. plus i've got homework comin outta my ears.. oi. so back to the story.. sunday hightlight.... guest for the evening...... a movie.. cuddling and MXC. dude.. most extreme elimination challege kicks ass. i only had one concern in the evening but i gotta work that out in my head before i approach it. all in all..... kick ass weekend.. lots of smiles and cuddles. sooooo nice to do that again. i missed it. alrighty.. my slacking ass needs to get s'more work done. till next time.
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
5:41 pm
since its been awhile..
lesse.... massage school has been going awesome.... i'm currently learning swedish massage, anatomy and pathology. the end of swedish is coming up soon... the 17th to be exact. then i have 3 weeks to take a bones and muscles written test... give six massages on my own time and one massage on one of the instructors... pressure pressure. i got myself a bolster.. nifty lil cushion you put under a persons knees if they're on their back or ankles if they're on their stomach to help relieve pressure from the lower back... i've also ordered a carry case... i kinda hope it comes in tonight.. that'll make lugging the table around SO much easier. i may or may not go into detail about any or all of the stuff i'm learning... i'm a slacker really so more than likely i won't.. but i may give it a shot. so.. i started classes on the 8th.. on the 9th i got a cough.. on the 10th i woke up with a 99.4 temp and a cough... on the 11th i woke up with a 100.3 and a wheeze and a cough.. i went to the doctor... guess who got bronchitis? oi. he gave me antibiotics, an inhaler and a six day steroid pack... it musta sounded REALLY bad when he listened to my breathing. 10 days later when the antibiotic was gone i was still hacking up green/yellow junk and having a wheeze... he hooked me up with 6 more days of steroids and 10 more days of a stronger antibiotic. god that sucked. i was sick for like a month with stupid bronchitis. okay okay... a small exaggeration.... i was only sick for 21 days.. oi. so... after that fun i went through withdrawl from the steriods and had like zero energy and was tired for around a week... of course having PMS didn't help much with that either. so.. i'm officially well and have most of my energy back. i'm still a lazy ass though so i haven't gotten up the energy to start exercising again. one of these days i will. so this past weekend... the 5th of february to be exact..... i went out with my buddy Ramon, his friend Shawn and a new human being.... Dawn. We all went out for Dawns birthday... piano bar.. sisters... a lil drinkin and a lil dancing and a lil cuddling. To put it in simplest form... i'm so glad i got the invite out. Dawn is freakin awesome. It's kinda scary how much crap we have in common.... from musical interest to odd things like living arrangements.. crazy stuff man. on sunday shawn was havin a small gathering/superbowl party so the saturday night crew all got together again.. it was nice. i had a good time. i am a nervous wreck. i haven't had a real good crush on someone like this in awhile. it's kinda nice. i swear my muscles in my face are gonna break soon. i've got like a damn perma-grin. i'm like scared and nervous and content and happy all at the same time... its odd. i'm just content to hold her in my arms... i could care less if it even went any further.... it just makes me smile on the inside... which doesn't happen too terribly often...... well.. i gotta get my act in gear so i'm not late for class...... till next time.
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