square peg in a round world (autumnsfall) wrote,
square peg in a round world


today i placed an ad for secretary at my job. and.. well.... i'm the secretary. i was given notice to place it two days ago. i've kinda been delaying. i've had to sort through a lot in my brain to go through with it. basically.. i KNEW this was coming. At the end of last year I told them I was going to school to become a massage therapist. I told them I wouldn't be leaving till at least the following December. In June one of my bosses asked me again "When will your courses be finishing up?" I said "December" She replied "Okay.. I think it would be a good idea to hire someone 4-5 months before you leave so they will be well trained for when you do go. Remind me next month to place an ad." Well.. it's next month.. and I didn't remind her.. she remembered though. What a great feeling of panic I had when I saw that in my inbox. I immediately started thinking... I have no place to go and I'm still not terribly confident in my skills even though all of my classmates think I have "the touch" and all of my instructors believe I do good work. So... after two days of letting things sort out in my brain.. I'm alright. Two days ago I was a wreck though. But basically.. here's the deal. We hire someone... they pick up the job in a month... they've got no reason to keep me on when that person knows what needs to be done and i've got nothing to do. Would you continue paying someone that's not doing any work? Plus at a reasonable rate. The new person will be hired at a lower rate than what I'm getting.. so.. yeah. You see my fear? By any means... I'm trying to take an active approach to the situation. I've been checking out some jobs to see what's required and where they're located and the such. Most jobs are looking for people with 500+ hours. When I complete this course I will have my 500 hours in.. BUT.. not until the end of December... sucky. I'm going to check out the postings at our school for a lead. I'll also be tweaking my resume to help secure a position. Also tryin to be more proactive with practicing. I grabbed to family members yesterday and gave myself a refresher on Swedish. It went pretty well. I felt better after that. So.. that's where I'm at. I'll try to check in every so often on the above. We'll see how it goes.
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